January 23, 2006

Christmas pic

Here we are at Christmas 2005. :)
Posted by lawwife at 21:03:47 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Insurance...good until something's wrong

Infertility isn't covered by my insurance. Why? They obviously made a business decision that the costs were prohibitive. Yes, testing and treatment are expensive. Aside from bringing a new life into existence, however, they serve another purpose.

The reproductive system is part of my overall health. If that part of me isn't working properly, I'm not working properly. Is that so hard to understand? Really? If my body doesn't produce enough progesterone to support a new pregnancy, that means my body isn't working correctly. If my eggs seem to be a bit old & frail, since I'm only 27, that means my body isn't working correctly.

Do I think that insurance companies should be required to cover IF testing and treatment? I don't know about that. I'm just frustrated with my insurance company that doesn't cover anything at all. I just want to work properly so that I can have a child. And with money at an all-time low ebb, it seems that particular goal will have to be put on hold at least until a tax refund comes.

This is so hard.
Posted by lawwife at 21:02:30 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

January 19, 2006

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Posted by lawwife at 15:26:00 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Over everything

I'm over work. I'm over drama. I'm over Dan not having a job. I'm over waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting) for a child. I'm just tired.
Posted by lawwife at 15:23:23 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

So out of it

I'm over work. I'm over drama. I'm over Dan not having a job. I'm over waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting) for a child. I'm just tired.
Posted by lawwife at 15:23:22 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

January 18, 2006

Dan has a blog!

http://reformedesq.blogspot.com

I'm glad he's writing. He has a lovely voice. :)
Posted by lawwife at 19:05:57 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

God has blessed me

With amazing friends. This is my friend Bren's response to the previous post (originally an email to her):

You're not kidding this is some test. IF or the job situation alone is a tough thing to deal with - but both together seems so overwhelming.

You're right that God hasn't forgotten you - but I know it must feel like that. I just finished reading Job and I sure pray that after this trial, like him you'll be richly blessed beyond all your imagination.

Is there anyway you could get your HSG done somewhere else? even if you had to drive a few hours to get it - since you're paying out of pocket anyway couldn't you call around to see if there is somewhere else?

Poor Dan is probably way to qualified for target & blockbuster to consider him - any chance he could take a lower paying law job just to get some experience?

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to solve your problems - I haven't written mostly b/c I'm out of words to say - I feel awful about what you're going through - and I feel very confident you'll be on the other side of it all one day - but in the meantime I wish I could do more for you.

Please feel free to write and vent anytime at all. I felt I could do that w/ you and it was always helpful.

I'll continue to pray as you know I am. I want to say I wish there was more I could do but we both know that's the best thing I could possibly do.

I love you sweetie, and there will be some sunlight soon. ((hugs))
Posted by lawwife at 19:03:11 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

All too much

I wrote to the RE yesterday morning after my CD3 bloodwork to tell her about the money issue with the HSG. Essentially, we can't do the HSG (unless they can code it for insurance to cover it) until after we get a tax refund, so I told her that and asked her what we should do. I did offer to just go back to temping and take Prometrium after a temp rise. Sigh.

Anyway, I had a redo of my CD3 bloodwork (just FSH, LH, and estrogen) yesterday. Jan 25 I have a baseline u/s. They'll probably discover that I don't do much by CD10. Shocker! ;o)

I have a friend at church who used this same RE (they eventually decided it made more sense to adopt than continually spend money on treatment). She said they spent either $25,000 or $28,000 in 2004 on testing and treatment, all out of pocket b/c they have the same non-covering insurance I do. Last January was their last cycle, and that one alone cost $8,000. All I can see is the money right now. We don't have any. Dan has no job and hasn't even heard back from places like Target and Blockbuster where he applied for the minimum wage stuff.

I know we haven't been forgotten by the Lord, but this is quite a test. Dan hasn't had a job since Dec 28, 2004. We were looking at our finances for 2005 the other day, and our interest payments + charitable giving were over $10,000, which brought our "disposable income" down to around $15,000. It's really no wonder Dan had to take out so much in loans. Ugh. I just want God to step in and make it better, you know? He can, but for some reason He's choosing to leave us in this position. We've dipped into savings already, and I think the next step is to deplete the mutual fund my parents started for us. And as if all that's not enough, Dan's student loan repayments have kicked in. We were just barely making it before, and now we have another $195/month in expenses.

I guess we shouldn't be pursuing IF treatment now. We certainly can't afford it.
Posted by lawwife at 19:01:07 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |