Bad dreams
Evidently, last night was one of those nights when both husband and wife are tortured in their sleep. Dude. My husband had nightmares about being chased by Ed Harris, caught, and then tortured. Ed seems like such a nice guy, and Dan has no idea why he'd be tortured...he has no information, promise!
I got to have a nightmare about divorce. UGH!!! I remember thinking yesterday that I can't imagine feeling so cut off from my husband that we'd want to be apart permanently. I guess that fed my dreams. I wanted out, right now, but I kept changing my mind. The finality of it would get to me, and I'd go to him to tell him I just wanted a trial separation or no separation at all. I have no idea what it was all about. I just wanted to hold his hand this morning and not let him leave for work!
I think you feel intimidated by your husband. It's not his fault. When he married you, he felt like he was getting the 'hottest girl in the world'.
He still feels that way. But here's what you need to do. You need to do something (a job) that makes you feel worth while (important). Of course, when the time is right, you will become pregnant.
But, I think that your putting all your self worth on becoming pregnant. Actually, that will hinder that process and destroy your relationship.
He loves you, he values you, you need to value yourself for who you are. Everything else will come naturally. (Comment this)
But, no matter how much stature he has, or how much money he makes, at that point, he is ruining your happiness. You can never let someone steal your joy. What matters is that we are happy in our lives. I believe you will not become pregnant if you are not happy. I said this was complicated and I do not know all the facts. He may be purposely intimidating you because he wants to hold on to you. Here's the hard part: you may be aware of that and enjoy the fact the he's trying to hold on to you.
That's where you have to decide. Because, at that point, you are just as guilty as he is. You have to ask yourself: Is it really worth it? Could I be just as happy on my own? I know I will find someone else if I really try. These things I know about. My Mother was a mistress to a wealthy Doctor. She left him and she never got over it. If this is your situation, I will tell you: Leave and make your mind up to leave. I can assure you, you are more than enough for most men. You will survive, and, probably, you will look back on it and say 'thank God I got out of there'. Here's my famous 'however'.
If he does want you to do something for yourself (a job), then he really does love you. You should concentrate on that and build your self esteem while recognigzing how lucky you are - I believe there will be a baby on the way. (Comment this)